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Is this my responsibility?

How could somebody who is so intelligent, knowledgeable and smart, someone who researches everything, once trust and believe in the knowledge of only one person? So much so that it never even crossed my mind that there could be a truth other than his words... and I did so for years until the therapy sessions that I had after I was diagnosed with autism.  I now have dozens of answers to the question of how I came to believe so blindly in a person, but I don't really know which one is right to this day; however, despite all the troubles, pains, losses, betrayals and lies I have experienced because of this belief, so many different doors have opened in front of me that I have even learnt to smile at my past, albeit bitterly... But the most important thing I have learnt is that it is my responsibility to find my own truth. Unfortunately, this can be a little difficult for those with autism, but this truth applies to all of us...  Everyone should find their own truth... With their own m
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After Wales...

Between trees hundreds of years old I was searching for my past  at the top of the mountain.  Within the shades of greens asking the rivers  watering the meadows. Speaking with lotus flowers lying on the river bed I  touched the rocks trying to understand what I missed.  I’m  hurt inside by the wind carrying my past Torrents fell from my eyes I thrust my head into the clouds confused, unable to breathe… not knowing what I missed. I’m hurt inside by the wind carrying my past Over the years I got used to living with illnesses and eccentricities. I had created a small world with very few people and I was struggling in that rarefied world. Until one day I came to Wales. Wales was the first place I felt I belonged. Wales became an obsession for me after I came to Brecon fifteen years ago for my English course. My biggest dream was to live in Wales one day... I dreamed the day would come... One day… However, in the space of one night, I ha
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Dance with catastrophe

  I should do more  Nothing is enough.  More more more I never understand  What is enough When will I be enough Family,  Society,  Culture  Friends  More, more, more  I should give more… I should buy more I should do more I should feel more I never understand  What is enough When will I be enough More more more I lost everything I have nothing left  No more… No more… No more I get it I’m already enough… Enough is enough We are often told we should put ourselves in the shoes of others but walking in someone’s footsteps is not the same as getting inside their mind. I always thought I understood people but after all, I have faced, I don’t understand them at all…  I was in the depths of despair.  It’s a very uncomfortable feeling indeed. I was in the dark night, profoundly unsettled, seeing no way out. It pushed me to the edge of what is familiar and reliable, stretching my understanding of how life works and what controls it. The dark night forced me way beyond my capacity for pain but it
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