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Kitty Home

I could hear the mountains calling me... the higher I climbed the more I was lost in the landscape ... the more the wind purified me. It was sweeping away all restrictions and oppressions and obligations… It took my feelings, my pain, my anger... It was as if I knew how to fly… the world diminishing when seen from the pinnacle, the screams of the kites, the roars of the cliffs … I knew how to fly… 

I had lost my trust in people, in myself and in life. I lost everything. This was a huge turning point. I felt so disappointed, so much pain, no value in moving forward. Back then,  many times  I thought of putting an end to my life. But I couldn't do it because of my son and Pinar. The only solution I could find was walking. I started walking every day for 5 or 6 hours without talking. I cried for weeks and I walked for months. 
I met with Andy after this walking period when I felt more peaceful. He loves walking, cycling, sailing, traveling and back then he had a motorhome which I called the“Kitty Home”. After forty-nine years, for the first time in my life, I met someone who loves walking as much as me. We started walking together with the “Kitty Home” as our home.  

I never traveled with a motorhome so it was a pleasure for me. I loved the stay and travel routine which is Kitty Home’s rhythm. It taught me a very different kind of life. I became aware that being in nature and having a warm space for sleeping, cooking, and toilet was enough to feel happy and comfortable. I got used to having a shower, washing dishes, clothes and existing in the cramped, closed camping places. I never desired this but it quickly became my happiness. 

Maybe there were no spooky shadows of massive buildings swallowing me, or maybe because I could hear the sounds of the birds rather than the traffic noise, or maybe because there were no crowds of sullen faced people in a constant hurry, or maybe because I started each day with the white clouds and blue skies rather than gray ones, or maybe because the mountains and woods opened their arms to me. I loved traveling with Kitty Home. I felt like Kitty Home was our second home… 

We walked everywhere in the mountains, in the valleys, at the seaside, in north Wales, mid-Wales, South Wales… To the top of the Pen Y Fan, Snowdon, Penygader, Mynydd Llysiau, Hay Bluff, Lord Hereford’s knob, Crug Hywel, Aran Fawddwy and more. I learned being in the mountains, especially in winter is magical.  As always, when we moved higher the wind grew stronger.  I learned to listen to the wind. Because sometimes the wind was saying “ I do not allow you to go further” and you have to listen to the words of nature.  Nature teaches you to protect yourself,  feel refreshed and fit and peaceful. And you start to remember where you belong. 

We traveled and walked to the Lake District, Cornwall, Portsmouth, Cambridge, Bath, Leamington, Brittany, France and Catalonia. We walked for 7 days on the Dales Way with just a backpack. Each time we returned to civilization I felt sad as if I had left part of me with nature. I wanted to run away to the mountains or the sea again and again.

Just as I get used to one way, life always pushed me in another direction. I was so happy walking and traveling for that year.

But Andy wanted to live out his dreams and buy a sailing boat. I only sailed twice in a gulet with crew in the Red sea swimming with Dolphins, so I haven’t any clue how only me and Andy will sail in a boat. This is a life-changing experience for me

I was just used to traveling with the  “Kitty Home” and I felt so happy about it. But we started looking for a boat and talking about sailing. As an aspie woman, changing is not easy and I love walking, I love to climb to the top of the mountain and I have no idea if I will love sailing or not.

When I started listening to nature she became my teacher and I started to trust her. I learned to allow time for myself. I learned not to push myself. I learned if you listen to nature you will be safe.  I learned tiny steps are very helpful in each new situation. I learned that cold weather does not make you sick. I learned if you insist then you can climb to the top of the highest mountain. I learned walking healed me. I learned every new place and every new experience taught me something about myself as long as I made time to learn. So I started looking at boats with Andy. Even though I feel very anxious about this new experience I want to be part of this journey. 


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